I'm not sure if a blog is suppose to be like an online journal, a place of random thoughts, or somewhere to say something, great?
I read a lot of blogs and there are so many gifted writers that entertain me as well as get me thinking. They also act as my prodding rod to write. I'm one of those writers who use Post-It notes. Not exactly the best place to write but they are definitely handy.
So here I am, sitting and wondering what is God's will for my life at this point. I grew up in a church environment, where finding God's will required many hours on your knees (which can be the best place to be unless you have bursitis of the knee joints, in which I had for awhile and the doctor said something along the lines of, "I don't think God would mind if you sat in a chair and prayed."), crying out, and you fill in the blanks.
That kind of produced a lot of fear in me and questions like, what if I'm not suppose to take this major, what if he isn't the right one, what if I'm suppose to be a missionary somewhere, what if we are suppose to take this family into our home, or what if I make the wrong decision? I'll miss doing what I'm suppose to be doing and God will just shake His head and say too bad!
I remember when my husband and I started dating. He had gone back to Iraq for several more months before coming back to the States. One morning, I was in the bathroom, freaking out about my decision to date him. If you knew my dating past, you may understand why. But I will not go there for now.
So I was in the bathroom wondering what would other people think, what would my DAD think. I mean this guy was sweet, quiet, compassionate, what could be wrong? Do I even love him? As I'm mulling all this over, I don't know how to explain it, but it was like God came into that storm in my mind and just said, "Love is a choice." And with that, at least for a little bit, I was like okay, I get it. Two years went by and especially saw in the last year before we got married, how God totally provided for us all the way to the altar. That helped me know that we were going the right way. And on October 29, 2011, we both said, "I Do!"
Recently, I started a book called Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. That may be another reason why I have been thinking about this.
One thing that was brought home to me was, when thinking about God's will, He has given us His word. Aside from that, there is no new revelation as some seem to think. So why not start there? It's there that I find who God is and how people of "old" related to Him and how I too can come to Him with anything. It's there that He told us to seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things would be added to us. So why don't I do that? Maybe because at times my expectations are, God I've asked You once, why aren't you answering. As if He were some vending machine. Apparently, I'm missing the point.
"Oh my little grasshopper, you need to learn to be patient."
On my want to do list include having a baby and getting my Bachelors degree.
The first one, I'm finding out how having a baby (for me) is truly a miracle. I just thought a couple did the deed and there you go, a baby! Apparently, there is more to the mechanics of our bodies then I know about. God absolutely made our bodies complex and amazing. And yes, we are trying and praying.
My Bachelors degree is a to do (or want to do) because I feel like I'm at a stalemate at my job and I want to go to school to accomplish something or at least learn a differnt skill. And for this I might have to wait a little bit longer for my husband's GI bill to take affect.
Until either one of those happens, I hope that my life shines for God. In that I will continue to live and learn the wonderful art of being my husband's mate and helper, continue to do the job that I currently have, be grateful for the friends in my life, and take it all one day at a time.
