Dear Diary - FOOD-LESS edition

Dear Diary Reader,

It is such a beautiful day today! It started off to be a great morning with cuddles and such from Baby. Later this morning the clouds gave way to a beautiful blue sky! I guess June gloom is on his way out the door, with my foot kicking his backside!

Come July, Baby and I decided to eat less in the way of not eating meat or junk food. Does fish count? So we decided to cut out all junk food, red meat, soda, wine, and beer. We will not cut out bread (I don't think I eat that much anyways), we will drink only water (I found some yummy water "recipes" on another blog) check it out:

Basil and Lime Water

Blueberry and Lemon

Rosemary and Cucumber

(Being someone who does not like drinking straight water unless I'm parched, these sound like a happy edition to my soon to be straight up drinking water days. What do you think? ) and we will be having Fish every Friday (sounds like Lent). This will be for a whole month! I know it will be good for us and we will have each other to be accountable to.

What a month to pick this project! I just thought about it! The 4th of July and my dad's birthday are in this month! Ack! Oh well, it will be all good. I'll keep telling myself that.

And we will include more exercise. My body knows it needs it! And since we are going to Cabo, I want to be prepared for a week of fun, fun, fun!

Oh another thing I need to mention.  This Google Reader is going "out of business", so make sure to check this diary out at Bloglovin' (the Paris button! I picked that one because I dream of one day going there with Baby, of course!).

Love,

Mrs. M

Dear Diary: Weekend Edition

Dear Diary,

This weekend was pretty eventful.

Friday night and Saturday morning and afternoon I made the time to take out my Kinky Twists. I can't believe how much hair I lost, though my hair still looks thick. It looks shorter, which is fine with me and might even be thinner, which again is fine with me. I was getting tired of my curly fro but now I was getting tired of my twists. Now my hair and scalp can breath! *sigh* My sister asked if I was embarrassed to take my hair down in front of my husband. Hmm, I don't think so. He's cool with it. I married a man who is cool with whatever style I choose (at least the ones he's seen yet).

I do have one recollection where he was taken aback with some braids that I had gotten but he got use to it.

Saturday we celebrated the engagement of our friends Isabel and John. They are perfect for each other! As he told their engagement story, I kept thinking I wish I had my phone camera on my but I didn't want to interrupt. So I just sat there smiling. I think my dear husband (which I'll refer to Baby) was thinking back to ours because he later took my hand as we sat there and listened.

On Sunday was church and boy was the message good to hear. It was funny though that as we heard Pastor talk on the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah (juicy story in Genesis) we both took something different away from the message. He on one hand was hoping that I heard what he heard and I was hoping that he heard what I did.  That conversation ended with my feelings being a little hurt  but you know what, God will work in the way He does. And right now, I will rest in that.

I came home after all the cafe stuff was put up and came home.

After packing Nala into the car with her food and such we headed to out of town to visit the in-laws for a birthday get together. I was kind of worn out emotionally and really didn't want to do a whole lot of talking but nothing like a little wine, food, fresh air, and my neice and nephew can't fix.

It was a nice time but I was happy to leave before it got dark, it didn't feel so long getting home. And besides that we experienced a little bit of the big moon last night (I can't think of the scientific term right now). But I guess it was suppose to be the largest moon of the year (same moon just the size of it looks bigger).

We watched some t.v. I started to watch Breaking Amish but the content was a little bit much for me last night so I turned it. I think we ended up watching Pawn Stars and Mountain Men. Of course we both fell asleep on the couch. Eventually we went to bed.

Today starts a new week and I already can't wait for the weekend! But so far the day has gone by pretty fast.

Well, that's all for now!

Love,

Mrs. M

Dear Diary: Food and Clothes edition

Dear Diary,

Happy First Day of Summer!

Yesterday was so much better. I felt productive at work and I prayed through whatever irritation came my way. Seeing my husband yesterday was sweet. I didn't see him as the guy who is selfish but as the guy who loves me and the one whom I love, we are a team. We both had a good day it seems. We went to bed talking, laughing and cuddling. We went to bed happy instead of mad and for that I am thankful.

I am finding ou that I really enjoy cooking new recipes. When I moved into a place of my own and was dating this guy, I had dreams in my head of trying all these new recipes on him. The furthest I got was chili and he didn't like it, and not that it wasn't good, he was just use to his mom's cooking. So we went out most of the time. Bleh!

So later when a new guy came into my life, I thought I would try my cooking skills on him. My first dish? Have you guessed? Vegetarian chili. He said he needed meat. I stopped cooking for him.

Fast forward to now. So when my husband and I got married, the cooking spirit cooked in and I started trying out new things. Some hot, some not so hot but he ate every meal that I made. Then I made a recipe from Rachel Ray, Lime and Honey Glazed Salmon (but I used the one in her cookbook). And he swore that I was the best cook ever! That encouraged me to try new recipes for the best man in my life.

Recently, I've tried the Korean Beef with Rice, Chicken Stir Fry, and Chicken and Dumplings.

Chicken and Dumplings and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon

Not only have I tried these recipes on my husband, I've been trying them on some of my friends, for girl's hang out nights. All of this encourages me to be more hospitable. I was feeling that I wasn't connecting with some of the girls that I have come to know as my friends so a thought came to me to just invite them over. I am loving cooking (except when I'm tired or not feeling well), so why not share it!

Also, lately, I've been having fun mix and matching different colored articles of clothing. One of my friends, Gracie, is a master of colored clothing. She is my inspiration! I will be writing about her and her story soon!

Elevator Shot! Corral sun dress with black. Topped off with flower wedges and a flower in my hair!

Office shot! Bright yellow sun dress with striped blue tank, blue light sweater and shoes with accented red belt. And of course, a flower to top it off!

I was told when I first started working at my job that I wore too much black by one of my co-workers. She said I was the Johnny Cash of the office. Thanks! I was very comfortable with wearing black, black goes with everything! Pretty much all my shoes that I wore to work were black too. Well it wasn't until I went to Uganda, Africa that my bohemian roots started kicking in. It all started off with these  four or five skirts my friend Christy gifted to me. They had all sorts of colors that I could wear different color tops with. Don't get me wrong, I still wear black but not as much and there has to be some color!

Okay Diary, that's all I have to say. Thanks for being my writing therapy! Now to work I go.

Love, Mrs. M

Dear Diary (the cleaned up version)

Dear Diary,

It's been a loooong time that I have written in you but I know you sit by patiently waiting, waiting, waiting.

It's been a couple of interesting weeks. But most recently, my husband and I went to go see the fertility specialist. I really like her as a doctor. She seems very genuine, not trying to push us one way or the other. Maybe that's what we need because it seems like we are not on the same page of what treatment, if need be needs to be done.

Yes, we did get pregnant once but do you know how long that took?! I don't have that time to wait..at least I don't think I do. Statistics swirl around my head..over the age of 35...miscarriage... down syndrome and on and on it goes. Then I start to think "does my husband blame me for us not having children yet?", "why can't we adopt? I know he wants children of his own and he is willing to do this other procedure that I don't want to do" and all that jazz.

I'm frustrated because I'm not sure what to do. Yes, I do believe that God has a plan for us, there is no question about that. Yes, I do love my husband, no question about that either. It's just that when you have two imperfect people not seeing eye to eye or they see differently from each other it makes it hard.

I'll get back to you later.

~Mrs. M

Military Monday: Debunking the Myths About Finding a Civilian Job (Guest Post)

Happy Monday Morning to you all! I hope that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, that you are enjoying your day so far.

I am happy to introduce to you today a guest blogger. I first met Emma at Smile As It Happens through e-mail! And when I read this post that you are about to read, it could not have come at a better time!

For those of you, whether you are a spouse to someone in the military or you are in the military looking to transition to the civilian work world, this post is for you!

Love, Mrs. M

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The changes and transitions of life bring a lot of potential, but can also bring a lot of anxiety. Old sayings about “the devil you know” come to mind. While you might be excited about the possibilities that await you following your transition from the military to the civilian world, you may also have some anxiety. Many rumors circulate about the job market and what you will face as you begin searching for a civilian job. The first step is to discern which of these rumors are true and which myths need to be debunked.

Myth #1: Applying to jobs is arduous and time consuming.

Truth: Although you will have to spend some time honing your resume or tweaking it to suit a desired position, you will probably find the process considerably easier than you first thought it would be. Today’s employers understand that your time is limited. Plus, many companies have streamlined the application process. Through partnering with JIBE, a mobile recruiting specialty company, many companies can now provide electronic platforms that allow you to upload your resume and other pertinent documents directly from your mobile devices! 

Myth #2: No special services exist to assist you with your transition from the military into civilian employment.

Truth: Actually, several such resources are available to you. The organization Hire Heroes USA consists of a team of military veterans who have dedicated their energies toward helping other veterans find gainful employment. This program offers networking opportunities, job fairs and training along with dedicated assistance to each individual who joins.

Myth #3: You’re out of luck if you can’t schedule an interview during normal business hours.

Truth: While you will need to have a degree of flexibility in scheduling interviews, employers understand the demands on your time. Especially if you are currently employed, don’t hesitate to politely request an interview outside of regular business hours. Often times, interviews scheduled after business hours take place with fewer interruptions, allowing the prospective employer to focus on you and what you have to offer instead of answering questions from employees that simply “can’t wait.”

Myth #4: Although there are organizations to assist you with finding civilian employment, there is no live person to assist you through the process.

Truth: More and more personal assistance is becoming available to military veterans seeking civilian employment. All post-9/11 veterans qualify for the Gold Card program, which allows you to visit a local One-Stop Career Center. These centers supply personal career guidance, help veterans create Individual Deployment Plans, supply job referrals and offer monthly follow-up visits to further assist throughout the employment process.

Even positive changes come with challenges. Throughout your transition into civilian life, you do not have to face these challenges alone. As you learn about the various resources available, take advantage of them to help you find the best opportunities out there.

Emma is a mid 20-something year old with a passion for life, love, fitness, and helping others. She loves to be active and get involved in as many sport and community activities as possible. Emma is currently studying to become a Career & Life Coach, and loves to network with people from around the world! Check out Emma’s blog at http://smileasithappens.blogspot.com/! 

On Hope, Loss, and Faith

First, I want to thank those who took time to give us a verbal hug. I really appreciate it! It means a lot to me.

For those of you who have had a hard time getting pregnant, have gotten pregnant and then loss, you might get this- It still leaves me in awe that I was ever pregnant! There was actually a living being in my womb, if only for a bit. To me that is amazing!

I imagine the day that I will be pregnant again, to actually feel life inside of me, the fears and excitement that it will bring, and the day I will actually give birth to a live child! That is my dream.

I never understood this kind of loss until I went through it and it is still somewhat surreal. I have been through a couple of miscarriages with my mom growing up. First one, I was in First grade. Her last one was when I was a teenager. I thought I had caused it because of the stress I might have caused her through some of my rebillious actions. There could have been a couple of reasons why it happened but I was not one of them.

A dear friend of mine also experienced this sort of pain of her own. In one of my conversations with her when she told me what had happened, my first reaction was disappointment, then anger, and then awe on how she kept trusting God. "Why does she have to go through this? It's not fair!" And I remember thinking something along the lines that I hope that I didn't have to go through something like that. I didn't know what to say except to empathize with her. I really hope I didn't say anything dumb. I probably did at one point and for that I'm sorry.

Speaking of which, as I have gone through this experience, the people that helped me out the most did one of the following things:

1) Cried with me,
2) Listened, that's all,
3) Had no words but sympathized with me,
4) Gave me a hug or a reassuring touch letting me know that they cared,
5) Sent a card with no words except "Here's a Hug, we love you guys",
6) Gave me space in a non-awkward way,
7) Sent me e-mail's letting me know that they were praying,
8) A phone call just to check up on me,
9) Validated that what I was feeling was normal and okay,
10) My boss even brought me a boquet of lavender roses (color meaning Grace)

Those are some of the gifts of love that I received.

I found myself at times trying to downplay what just happened. In one particular time, someone at church asked me what was wrong. I told that we were pregnant but lost the pregnancy. She went on to say she didn't know what I was going through because she had never experienced that but just this week so and so's wife died, so and so carried her baby to term and it was stillborn...so much death! And then I said something stupid like, "yeah my loss was early, it could have been worse in the light of all these others' turmoil", like diarrhea coming from my mouth. Then later I was like, "What just happened?!" I was mad, I felt discounted, like as if what just happened wasn't a big deal! I know that there are people dying, that other people are in pain, and that there are others experiencing loss but at that moment all I needed was a hug or "I'm sorry, " not "well you think you have problems sistah, listen to what's going on in so and so's life!" I think she tried to pad it with an "I'm sorry" but after all was said and done, you couldn't put the stuffing back in the turkey (no disrespect intended).
As I look back, I see that it is God who gives us faith and keeps us believing as we go through our trials even though we have questions.

He gave my Mother faith to try for another child. She had me. And eighteen months later she had my twin sisters.

He gave my friend faith to dig deep, talk to her doctors, pray, take the medication she was prescribed and go through the procedure(s) she needed to. She went on to have two more beautiful children.

He's given me just the right husband I need, the friends I need, the family I need, and the faith I need through it all  (the misunderstandings, the tears, the fears, the joys and everything good).

Love,

Mrs. M