Bed Rest Chronicles - Labor and Delivery and Anniversary Edition

Yes, bed rest! On Monday, October 20th, I went into preterm labor. Well, I really started on Sunday the 19th. My thoughts were that I was just experiencing her pressing on my nerves or my bladder. I've had these sensations before and I just had a doctor's appointment and asked him what that was. The reason why I brought it up is because every appointment he asks if I am experiencing cramping or bleeding because I have Placenta Previa (a condition where in my case, the baby's placenta is covering my cervix. So if I were to go into labor the placenta could pull away and cause hemorrhaging). So he just said it was probably her positioning herself or sitting on my bladder. 

Well on Sunday, the 19th,  I thought just that. But this time it felt like menstrual cramps. Every time I would feel a tightening in my uterus/stomach region there was pain accompanying it. We had just finished taking our childbirth classes the week before, so I remembered some of the breathing techniques and I breathed right through the pain. We had been looking at houses for most of the day and we were out of town. After eating at In N Out, we decided to go watch a movie. While we were watching the movie, Adam looked at me several times and asked if I wanted to leave (only because I would start rubbing my stomach and breathing in a manner that was different) and I said, no I'll be fine.

The movie ended and by then I was like, we need to go home. On our way home, in his car, not the most comfortable for my pregnant body, we stopped to get something to eat. I only ate my chips and half of sandwich. By the time, we did get home, I thought, oh I just need to go poop. Well, I went to the bathroom and just peed. So I finally got ready for bed thinking that by the morning this should pass. It was just a long weekend and I was on my feet a lot, so I just need to sleep, right? I woke up several times that night, breathing away the pain. I also Googled a few topics to include Placenta Previa does it hurt?, Placenta Previa, the risks, Contractions and Placenta Previa. By the time I was finished reading, I knew I either needed to try to go to work, stay home and wait until my doctor's office opens or go straight to the E.R. It was 5:30 am. I wanted my husband to get a little bit more rest like until 6 am. And as I sat there, I thought maybe I shouldn't, maybe I'm crazy, I think I'm feeling better. But by 5:45 am, I woke him up and I was like, we need to go to the ER. I felt like crying because I had the thought that maybe I was just crazy. BUT I didn't want to take any chances. So I headed upstairs to take a quick shower and after writing a short note to my parents (where I'm staying in transition to moving into our new house), we left for the ER.

Adam dropped me off at the ER. The nurses were spectacular from the beginning. After, I told her what was going on, she asked how many weeks I was (32) and she said, "Oh no, you don't need to be here! We are taking you to Labor and Delivery." I had a quick moment of "Oh my gosh! Am I having a baby today? I'm not ready!" Adam made it to the E.R. before they transported me to Labor and Delivery. They called ahead so that the nurses there would be ready. They got me there and put me in a LD room. I sat on a bed and waited for the nurse. When she did come in, she had me put on a hospital gown.

They finally hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a monitor to check on my contractions. They were like, "yep, you are having contractions!" Never really experiencing contractions except if I remember right, when I was miscarrying, then I was like, "oh that's what they were!" So they poked me a couple of times to find a good vein to pump in some medication aka Magnesium Sulfate. Finally!!

Trying to keep my hand still because the Mag burns!

I think I finally get to eat something after just having broth, a popsicle and frozen gelatin.

My sweet mother and dad (not pictured) came to pray and visit with me and Adam.

After 2 bags of Mag, some random pill and a steroid shot, the contractions slowed way down, if not stopped and they transported me out of Labor and Delivery to the Family Unit, where Adam had a bed to sleep in and where I had a way more comfortable bed to sleep in. This was our first experience to be in the Family Unit, which we toured just a week before. Sorry, I only have videos and no pictures. The nurses were spectacular and my stay there was top notch. 

The first night, my nurse had me on a fetal monitor and contraction monitor. So each time I had to go to the bathroom (because not only did I have Mag and a saline solution running through my veins but I was encouraged to keep drinking a lot of fluids, I had to go alot) I would ring for the nurse to help me. Eventually, the second day there they were like, "this is what you can do to unplug the machine to go to the bathroom, of course with the help of your husband or another helper in the room". 

Each time they checked me, urine output was good, the baby's heartbeat was good and momma was good. They were surprised that I was doing so well on the Magnesium. They said usually women are loopy and out of it, throwing up and walk unstable. It was nothing but the grace of God that I didn't negatively react. The only thing that bothered me about the Mag was that it burned at first but once they slowed down the dosage the pain and irritation was MUCH more bearable. My nurse at the time told me that if it did burn to let her know and she would up the saline solution output. She also gave me my second steroid shot for the baby's lungs just in case it was her time to make an apperance to the world. And it wasn't until later that I noticed that my skin reacted nicely to whatever they gave me. I thought it was the Mag but a friend told me it was the steroid shots. I have eczema. 

The second day there cousin Alicia came to visit along with a surprise visit from my Auntie Alice! She brought me books and crossword like books to keep me occupied. They also brought me colorful jewelry to wear. They know I "love" different accessories! 

My mother stayed with me the second night. I had to say goodbye to my husband because he had to get back to work. But I was left in the very capable hands of my nurses and my mother! 

The third day, some of my lovely co-workers who I call friends, came in for a visit also. It was so nice to see them! They were making their hospital rounds. I found out that another co-worker/friend of mine had to go back to the hospital because of complications. They were angels. My cousin Alicia also came back that morning to hang out with me while mom was gone for an appointment.

My doctor happened to be the on call for that day and he walked into my room smiling and calling me a troublemaker. He told me that I was going to be released that day and sent home on bed rest/limited activity. So I looked at him and was like, "does that mean I'm going back to work?" He looked at me like, "Really? You are asking me that?" "No you are not!" To which I replied, "YIPEE!" More on that later.

So here I am at my parents lovely home resting before baby comes. I am in the very loving and capable hands of my parents while my husband works to provide for our little family. I love them and am so grateful for them. And I love my husband so much! 

So without further ado, here are some pictures that were taken by my friend Lisa from Lisa Miller Photography. These were taken a couple of weeks before contractions started and before I got too big to be comfortable with taking pictures. I am so grateful that everything just fell into place. Thank the Lord!

Happy 3rd year Anniversary! It's funny we are welcoming a third to the mix :)

God gave us this little one. For this child we have prayed! #rainbowbaby

I love laughing with him!

On the Island, where Adam and I first met! It's so funny that we didn't know, but God did.

In December, we are looking forward to meeting our Sadie Rose! Mommy and Daddy love you already!

Instagram Me

This was going to be a picture of our announcement but in a previous entry you saw what I used :)

So I have been seriously slacking in the blogging department. So much has gone on these past couple of months:

-My husband started a new job. Yay for employment! The Lord is good - He provided just at the right time!

-Baby M has been moving a whole lot more. I think she's going to be a dancer :) or athletic. She's 22 weeks and 1 day in utero!

-We are in the process of relocating -a ways from my family (well only 2+ hours) and closer to his family - good thing we all love each other!

-Baby M and I visited the Emergency Department and it wasn't for a field trip. I was having chest pains that would not be relieved by belching or passing gas. It hurt to take deep breaths. Even my breast hurt more than any breast tenderness I've had relating to this pregnancy. My feet and ankles just about became one. They were swollen, something that I thought was just a part of pregnancy. Which it is but when connected with chest pains, no bueno! The do did all sorts of tests which included xray for my lungs, a contrast CT scan, ultrasounds for my legs and gallbladder all in an effort to try to find blood clots. No blood clots were found, thank You Jesus! Oh and they also made me an elixir of Maalox and lanacane. I drank it with a straw, my throat went numb and relieved the pain for a tiny bit just to feel it again. They probably thought I had reflux or heartburn. Nope!  I came away with the instructions to take Tylenol if the pain continued. Their diagnosis - Pluerisy - inflammation of the lining of the lungs.

All in all the doctors and nurses were spectacular! I didn't feel like a wacko and they treated me and baby with the highest care - something that I prayed for. My visit this time around was great compared to when I was miscarrying. The doctor on the floor, actually sat down next to me and talked. He didn't stand over me like I was another crazy person. I was so grateful for that. They even fed me! I was so grateful for their care and also the fact that my cousin who drove me there and stayed with me was a real blessing! She was a trooper - we were there from approximately 4:30am until 3pm. What a full day!

I am so grateful for this pregnancy! I'm learning my limits - what I need and what I don't need, etc. I love being pregnant! I think it is so beautiful in so many ways.

Well, if you would like to check up on life's happenings every now and then check out my Instagram page. It is on privacy for now but I would love your request. You can find me at: @thisguysgirl .

Alright, until next time,

Love, Mrs. M

It's A.....

BABY GIRL!!

When the doctor's office called me, they called to let me know that the first set of tests that I took came out normal aka perfect and they also had the gender but they didn't know if we wanted to know. I was like, "um yeah!" So I called the nurse back to ask her to leave what we were having on my voicemail. Up until I found out, I seriously thought we were having a boy. I don't know, that's what I thought. I guess my Mommy intuition is not that fine tuned yet.

So the nurse called and left the message. It was kind of disappointing how she left it, "So you're having a girl. I hope that is what you wanted....." Really?! Really?!!! How anticlimatic that was! So at first I was a little like, "oh, we are having a girl." As time has gone on, I'm like, "WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!"

I wanted to take what I knew and keep it a secret from Adam until Father's day. It was.SO.hard! He found out that I knew. And it started to make me sad that the information that he wanted to know, I wasn't telling him. Well, we were talking one night and I leaned over him as he laid on the bed, he touched my stomach and he asked how the baby is. I said, "Oh she's fine!" He immediately grabbed onto that and said, "That's what we are having!!" I couldn't hold it in (lie) anymore. Yes, that is what we are having. He was all cheese! He wanted a little girl. Well, our family didn't know what we were having or so I thought. So some of the things that I wanted to get ready for Adam, I got ready for my parents.

The whole weekend, I put something on Facebook leading up to Father's day. Kind of like a rolling gender reveal.

Finally, Father's day came! My parents came to church with us. People kept asking what were having. I told them to check into Facebook that afternoon and they would find out. We still hadn't told our parents, therefore they had to wait!

We went out to brunch with the parents. They were trying their hardest to tell me it was a girl and what her name would be. We just played along. On our way to our separate cars, "she" came out of my mouth. I swore my mother heard me. She didn't. But I thought she did. Secrets are so hard to keep sometimes!!

We got home, they arrived shortly after. We went inside. Minutes later, they sat down on the couch and waited.

Okay! Go ahead and open the box, I told them. I had wrapped the box in Christmas paper because she is due in December. In my mind's eye, I saw my mother slowly open the box. But reality is, she tore into like a happy child on their birthday!

And out came this:

Surprise! It's a girl! My dad "knew" it! He got another princess :)

(A little blurry, just a little excited!)

"Grandfather's Lil' Princess" "Grandmother Loves Me"

Wow! What  a day of excitement! Sometime after my parents left, I put the announcement on Facebook. Friends and family alike are so excited! I also got a few phone calls and made some but only after I took a MUCH needed nap!

This guy passed out after a long day!

With a day full of excitement, smiles, hugs and happy screams, we called it a day! So here we are in anticipation, waiting for Baby Girl to arrive in December!

Until next time friends,

Mrs. M

Running toward the Finish Line - Getting Pregnant

Their Final Destination - On Race Day

A couple of months before this big race, that happens every year in San Diego, I wanted this to be the year that I at least volunteer. So I asked my husband if he wanted to volunteer also, he said yes. Unfortunately, I was the only one out of the two of us who could make it because he had some job prospects that day. And believe me, at this stage in our married life, my husband finding a job after he finishes school is more important.

What an early morning it was! My alarm went off way before the sun decided to rise or the before the chickens thought it was a good time to get up! 3:30 a.m. people! 3:30 A.M.! I only set my alarm that early because I had to be at the volunteer tent at 5 a.m. and I knew the only way I was going to make it is if I got up at a good time. Ever since I was a child, I have needed ample time to get ready in the morning. Just call me turtle.

I finally made it! I received my assignment - opening up the winner's medals and putting them in their proper place on the metal stands. Their are so many people that you get to meet. But being more of an introvert with new people, I was the "quiet one" and I was okay with that.

As the morning moved on, the Finish Line Lead lady was looking for volunteers to time the first 10 fastest runners in the men and women's divisions. My hand went up like lightning and I was picked along with 5 other volunteers. How exciting! I was going to be part of someone's running time history.

I was paired up with another volunteer - me, with the good eyes and her with the better handwriting.

It was a about an hour or so before our wheelchair competitors started arriving and some time after that, that our runners started to come in. At first it was slow, but then as time went on the runners started coming in. I forgot to mention that we were on the whole marathon side! A whopping 26.2 miles!

I was in awe seeing runners make it to the finish line. A lot of them running through, a few limping and a couple being carried to the medical tent. But it was exciting!

This is what victory and relief looks like!

So after logging in the fastest runners, I just kept watching the runners came in. My volunteer partner left and never came back. Oh well, she had friends to look after. Another volunteer came to me, asking me to do her job while she went to the bathroom. My job was to log in the runner's bib numbers as they passed the finish line. I was holding what looked like to be big calculator. I felt like an accountant punching in numbers. It was fun for a long while and then I started to wonder whatever happened to bathroom girl. She never came back. So there I was standing with the medical team punching in numbers. Standing, kneeling, sitting, standing as the runners continued to come in. It was really cool but then I started to get a bad headache and I was VERY hungry! I tried to keep an upbeat attitude but it was a little bit hard.

After finally spotting Finish Line Lead, I asked her how much longer, she said until 12. So for another 30 minutes I continued to log in the runners. By then my cheer was gone. Sorry guys and gals. But I did get to see some awesome things like, a fellow runner proposing to his runner girlfriend. The look on her face was not of joy but of "I've just run a marathon guy and you want to propose to me now?! Really?". I'm sure her heart was full of joy as conveyed by the hug she gave to her now fiance.

Now for another story! My husband and I have been running a marathon of our own. This story is being lived out by us and being written by God (though I have tried to edit some parts by putting in my two cents; He always wins! He writes a better story anyways).

So if you read some of my posts of months pasts, you'll see a glimpse of what we went through the past 2 years. Through a series of blood tests, procedures, meeting with a fertility specialist, two OBGYNs, a miscarriage, talk about adoption, arguing about procedures, silent periods, crying out to God, searching for answers, having a support group, eating this, not eating that, throwing in the towel, trying to have hope and not totally givng up, we ran and trusted God with the results. And this is what finally happened!

April 10th, the day I found out! What?!!

A couple of days later! It's getting darker!

Baby at 11 weeks

We are so thrilled! I have to admit that for several weeks before seeing Baby, I was afraid that we were going to lose another one. But seeing the baby on the ultrasound at 5 weeks (tiny!), then at 7 weeks (gummy bear! and oh the sound of the beating heart!), and then at 11 weeks (look at the baby move! So active!) my heart is starting to settle. I still find myself going to "what if". Ugh! But through other's encouragement, God's love through His people, God's word the Bible and prayer, we continue to run on!!

Thanks be to God! We have hope!

We also found out some very exciting news! I hope to write more about it here but if you would like to know, follow me on my Instagram : @thisguysgirl .

Alright my friends, thank you for sticking around for this exciting journey!

Love,

Mrs. M



Selfie edition - Part 1 - Big, Curly Hair

"May my hair continue to curl proudly (sometimes in braids)....."

-My Instagram

When I was a girl in the second grade, I wanted to have straight blonde hair, like some of my little girlfriends had, where I could toss it around to and fro. But instead of to, I had the 'fro, which was put into puffy ponytails and did not move a lick unless I had big bobbles on the end, which was rare.

As I got to older, like around the seventh grade, I was still wearing puffy ponytails in some sort of fashion until I begged my mother to do something else to my hair. I would get comments and questions about my hair. "Can I touch it?" "How do you do that?" "How long does it take to do that to your hair." "How long is your hair?" "Ha, ha, she still wears ponytails!" I didn't mind all the questions, sometimes, but I wanted something different than what I had. Little did I know later on in life, I would break free from wanting "your hair".

I started hot combing my own hair in high school. (A process where a metal comb is put on one of the eyes of the stove to get hot. After sufficient time of getting hot, you take the comb off the stove, sort of cool it off with a rag, take a section of hair that has been coated in some sort of oil and comb through. And do the same process with the rest of your hair.It's sort of like using a flat iron but more work, blisters, burnt scalp and other fun injuries.) I wanted straight hair. But the straight that I got only lasted until moisture hit it and then it turned out to be frizzy, almost embarassingly so. You curly heads know what I'm talking about!

I didn't even think of wearing my hair natural until I stepped out a few times for costume parties to go as Afro Bond girl or Disco chick. Then it was cool! My co-workers even thought so and told me I should wear my hair like that to the office. My boss at the time happened to be standing around and said it "wouldn't be professional." In one way, I could see where he was coming from because it was pretty out there but then again, it was my hair and I'm sure there could be a way for me to tame it and wear it natural if I wanted to. But shamedly, I did not. I was uncomfortable.

Then I started to wear wigs. Mostly straight with a little bit of curl. The only reason why I went to wearing wigs was because my own hair started to look like straw from a broomstick. It hardly curled when I washed it. It started to look lifeless because of all the hot combing AND flat ironing. It would curl at the roots and be stick straight at the ends. Not cute! So it was time to give my hair a break and when I finally found a wig that I liked, I wore it, it didn't wear me.

After almost two years, wearing wigs started to get old and hot to wear! I asked my then fiance what would he think if I went natural. He said, "Do what ever you want honey." And that I did. I was a little scared though. But I remember the day. I ripped that wig off my head, washed my hair and cut off the last remaining pieces of broomstick hair. And there it was! My hair! It was beautiful! I had no idea! Yes, I would wash my hair before that time but I really didn't pay attention to it before then. Wow!

The next test was, "What would my fiance say?" He came over to my apartment and looked at me like, "huh, interesting". But I was not in anyway going back to putting that wig on my head. Either, he was going to like it or he wasn't. Eventually, he started playing with it. I have not received so many compliments in my life! I mean seriously. Even he became more confident about my hair because of the compliments from strangers on the street.

I. WAS. FREEEEE!

That was November 2010. Almost four years later and it is still natural. I have had moments where I just want to shave it off but more than likely that will not happen of my own accord. In the meantime, I'm trying to find natural hairstyles that will fit me.

Until then, I remain curly and free!

Have a Happy Memorial Day weekend!

Love,

Mrs. M

Birthday Month: One Day At A Time!

What breakfast looks like on a good day (missing - string cheese)

So I continue to celebrate my birthday each day, somehow! Since my last post, I ran the Neon Run with my friend Sara. That was fun! Pictures will come later. (Unfortunately, they are at home on my camera.) That was this past weekend!

So lately, I have been reading this:

One of the ladies in my support group read this after having her miscarriage. She said it helped her out a lot. I didn't realize the book she was offering for someone to read until, at the end of our time together, I looked over since nobody went for it and took a second look. This is EXACTLY the book that I wanted to order a couple of months ago!

I had been listening to John MacArthur's series in the mornings about what happens to babies/children when they die. It perked my attention for obvious reasons - I had a miscarriage last year. I have never really heard a pastor talk about this with such compassion and detail. He was not giving your typical pat answer. So with good intentions, I meant to call their ministry to obtain this book for free but that time went and left but it was always somewhere in the back of my mind. So when I asked if I could have the book, she said, "sure!". And when I picked it up, I was like, "Thank You Jesus!" I was meant to get that book at that time and it was so encouraging. It's moments like that, though I know His love never stops, but it's those tangible moments that I know God really does love me (us) and He does answer prayer!

Recently this happened to my dogs:

Both doggies got groomed! It was a Happy Birthday present from me to them :)



And last but not least I got to watch this:

Sorry for the quality, but you get it.

Last week, on April 9th, my birthday twin called me, while she was having 3-minute apart contractions to see if I wanted to come to the hospital to watch the process of her giving birth. Um, YES! I was so excited and honored that she would even ask me. One of the songs that played while on the way up to the hospital was "Happy" by Pharrell. Such a good song and appropriate for the moment.

I arrived at the hospital around 6:00p.m. and went to the top floor of the hospital and called both her and her husband's phones. He answered and peeked his head out of the room. I walked down to the room and inside to find her laboring in the tub they had in the room. In between contractions, she was able to talk but I tried to give them as much space as possible. Kind of like being a fly stuck on the wall.

As contractions increased, I headed over to the waiting room where my husband brought me some dinner and we ate together. I love that my husband was there and at the same time, I felt like I was a nurse on call. After 30 minutes or so, I told Adam that I should go back to the room and he so wanted me to stay with him. We had no idea when baby was going to be born, but I didn't want to miss a thing and he wanted to be with his wife, since he was not allowed in the room. So, I decided to stay in there with him for another 30 minutes and while in there my friend's husband ran into the room to drop off a cup for me to fill up with water to take back and went back to his wife's room. So I filled up the cup, told Adam I would be back and went to the room.

She seemed to be doing well but by now in a lot of pain. They had ordered up an epidural by then and were waiting. So I went back to the waiting room and waited there a little bit longer.

I said goodbye to my husband and went straight to the birthing room! I'm so glad I did. Her nurse midwife was coaching her through her contractions, which kept coming like the waves of the ocean slapping on the shore. They were getting closer, like 90 seconds apart.

That was 7:30 pm. They finally got her out of the tub for a second time (since I've been there) and took her to the bed where she was in extreme pain, still waiting for the epidural. As the nurse was trying to coach her to breath, I sat on the side of the breathing "for her" and praying. The nurse asked her was she pushing. Whatever her body was doing, that's what she was doing.

The nurse midwife, tried to wait for the doctor but she called some other nurses in to get the cart ready and to set up the room. And they did it quickly and efficiently! One nurse even introduced herself to me. How nice!

My friend wanted a mirror so that she could see the birth. But that baby was not waiting because by 8:00 p.m., the nurse lifted one of my friend's legs and there was a head and the other nurses helped his little body the rest of the way out!

She had her natural birth! She wanted a epidural but by the time they had ordered it, she was already 8cm.

He came out and started crying. Tears came to my eyes the miracle that was happening before me!

Amazing! Extremely Amazing!

Happy birthday little guy! Thank you for making my birthday month a bit more special!

Until next time,

Mrs. M

Ready, Set, Glow!!!

via Neon Run Facebook

Yes, it is that time again where I push myself to do a 5k! I know, no big deal, right? It's just 3.1 miles! Like I've said before, I am NOT a runner. Okay, maybe just a little.

The times that I do get out to run and maybe push myself a little farther than before, I feel SO good! I'm a little halfway there. I ran an estimated 2.2 miles this morning! Ha ha! I run with my little chihuahua/retriever mix (don't ask) :). She does pretty good for herself! Of course, there are times where she wants to stop at a scented spot here and there that's new to her but I tug at her harness and tell her to keep going. But sometimes the stops are a welcome relief. There are other times, where she will start sprinting and so that encourages me to move a bit faster. It's nice to have a cute running buddy!

One day, oooone day, I'll get to a half marathon! I'll put that on my bucket list.

Oh, birthday month update! So this past weekend was a blast! I have several other April birthday friends and I got to celebrate one of them this past weekend. I celebrated with my friend, Gracie, who by example, showed me I need a little, no A LOT of color in my life! It's amazing the colors that you can put together. You should try it this spring and summer! There are so many colors to wear! You just might pick up someone's face with a smile!  It was fun spending part of her birthday with her and some other friends.

Gracie is in the middle!

My friend Nefertari (above picture, right), came and visited too! I know she was so happy to see Gracie and to hang out with us. Nefertari is not only my friend but a purse diva, I carry one of them with me all the time! She's also a food connoisseur. On her way down to visit us, she stopped at a couple of her favorite spots to pick up some of the items she loves, so she can take them back home to enjoy, a little at a time. She even brought me an early birthday cupcake from DOTS. It was so very moist and though the cake was not too sweet, the icing made up for it. Thank You Lord for friends.

Sunday, I was so exhausted from the weekend that after we went to church in the morning and looked for a microwave, I just wanted to go home and take a nap. And that's just what I did, a two-hour-nap!

Later on that night, I had a good cry. I found out I hurt my husband's feelings, more like embarrassed him and I didn't realize it. I was caught up in the moment. But I should have known, by the small signals he was giving me or the look he gave me.

So after our heated exchange, I left the table to cry. I wanted to stop the tears but I'm like, you know what, it's a okay to cry. I gave the situation to the Lord and asked Him to help me to understand my husband better and to help me be aware.  I told my husband that I was sorry for what I did. Though it was a hard night, he forgave me. We talked about it later and I got a better understanding. Plus, we had the best make up ever!

So here's to another week of birthday fun and celebration!

Love, Mrs. M 



 

Celebrating all month long!

Back when I was 24, I met a guy who did a bit of traveling. He told me of some of his travels. I even dated him for a little bit. But the thing that caught my attention of what he said, was WHEN he intentionally travelled and not just for work. He took trips on or around his birthday every year. I'm like, "What a great idea!". It so happened, that year I was turning 25 and my dad asked if I wanted to take a trip with him to see my extended family in Texas. Um, yes please! And that's when I became intentional about celebrating my birthday.

First, it started off with celebrating for a week. One year, some good friends of mine celebrated with me for two days the week of my birthday! I'm not sure what order we did the following things: One night we watched a movie and ate pizza and ice cream.  Another day we went to Universal Studios! During that week, I also got my hair done along with my nails and also got a wax. Ha ha! I went shopping for an outfit to go to Universal Studios in. That was fun! I would have liked to go to somewhere out of town but where I live, there is plenty to do around and close by.

So, I did a week celebration for several years. I even took a week off on my birthday several times. I just wanted to celebrate life! I've flown out of town to visit a friend, I've driven with my mother to go visit my great Aunt and so many fun things! You don't know when it's your time to go, enjoy the time that God has given you!

Then I turned 30! At the time, where a lot of women and friends alike dreaded turning 30, something happy clicked for me! I was excited! I felt more mature. I also felt like I was becoming more of the woman I was suppose to be. Trust me, I hadn't arrived and I still haven't but I felt like good changes were around the corner! Little did I know that in the near future that I would be learning some hard lessons which included going depression. But it also held good times, like going to Africa for the first time and reconnecting with my future husband and marrying him a couple of years later!

Later on in life it hit me! Why not celebrate the whole month of April as my birthday! It's the little things people. I don't have to go all out every day but like I said it's the little things.

Last year, my husband and I went to Ensenda for a house building trip on my birthday for several days. That was an adventure! And the day before we went, I found out that I was pregnant! What a birthday surprise that was! What a gift to be able to be in wonder at the miracle of life! It was very heartbreaking though when I lost the baby the next month.

So this year, this month, I'm taking it one day at a time to look for things to celebrate. So this is it so far:

1. April 1st, it was the first day of my birthday month! I went to see my OBGYN (I know fun!) and we talked about the possible cause of my infertility - a polyp acting as "natures" IUD. And the possibility of having it removed next month! So far, so good! Then I capped off the day, with having a "Black Girls Night Out" with my birthday twin (4 years removed) and her friends, for dinner and drinks!

2. April 2nd, I met a new group of girls who blessed my heart! We are all on a journey towards having babies. We have all dealing with infertility is some form or fashion. All of our stories are different as well as similar in so many ways. They were all encouraging. We support each other, root each other on and I feel like there is still hope for me!

3. April 3rd, since being a part of the ministry listed in #2, one of the ladies put a song on Facebook to encourage us. It's a song, sung by an artist named Meredith Andrews and the song is called Not For A Moment. It was just the song that I needed around the time I miscarried. It spoke to my heart of God's care for me and not for a moment did He leave me. I was reminded of that once again on this day!

4. April 4th, today is Coffee Friday! I decided that at least once a week, I could treat myself to a nice big cup of coffee, preferably a foo-foo drink. Today, I had a Salted Caramel Mocha hot coffee. It was mm-mmm good! I also got a call from my doctor's office scheduling me for my surgery!

This month, I have so much to look forward to and I'm thankful for each day I get to wake up, kiss my husband and start the day! So far, so good!

How do you like celebrating?

Love,

Mrs. M

I didn't know I was....an introvert!

I used to watch that show, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, on TLC. And being a women who has been trying to get pregnant, I was wondering how can a women not know that she is carrying precious cargo? Give me a break! But it was interesting nonetheless. And if you were that woman, please give me your story.

Somewhere in my late 20s I found out that I was an introvert! For most of my life I thought I was an extrovert! Really, I did! My dad, on the other hand, had known for years that I was an introvert because he already "typed" my sisters and I and we all turned out to be introverted, according to the Meyer-Briggs Type Indicator book that he had been reading. On a small note, my mother is the only extrovert in our family of five!

I couldn't believe it! How could I be? I loved to talk, I loved hanging out with my friends, I liked to meet people and a lot of other things that I thought extroverted people liked to do. When I heard the word Introvert, I saw a very shy, awkward, didn't like to be around people and a nerd. I know! I know!

It wasn't until the church that I started going to (which I LOVE!) had a conference that they called SOMA. This conference included Meyer Briggs testing and Strengths Finder 2.0 assessment. I found out my "type" is INFP. My "strengths" are Adaptability, Connectedness, Empathy, Harmony and Relator.

In a few words, I learned that when it comes to relationships, introverts like to get to know a few people really well and extroverts like to get to know a whole range of people and have an array of friends. I don't know if that makes sense. But I'll say for me, getting to know and close knit group of friends is important to me (though my husband says I act more like an extrovert in that way but I'll always count on my hand, maybe one and an half hands the friends that I will always consider closer to me than others).
This was so helpful to me! Some people seem to know just who they are, how they are made and what their strengths are. For me, I was still trying to figure myself out! As funny as that sounds, I was. And now I had the opportunity to really get to know how God created my "bent".

Taking these two assessments really opened my eyes and helped me to see myself for who I was. For one, I was an introvert. Ahh, it started to make sense to me!

This is what I have learned about myself so far:
    
     - That it's okay that I'm not the "life" of the party
     - That I do love talking to people but on a one on one or even two people conversation
     - That I love to get away where it is quiet, so that I can regroup
     - That fun and relaxing for me is going to the beach or pool and reading
     - That I can be a little socially awkward but not like I use to be
     - That I love my extrovert friends and that I don't have to compete with them to be heard
     - That I'm still growing and learning more about my "bent"

So what would you say your personality bends more toward: Extroversion or Introversion?

Until next time,

Mrs. M

Weighing on my mind! - Self Image

I know it's been awhile ladies! But here we are!

A little more than a week ago, I was honored to guest post over on sweet Danielle's blog called The Girlfriend Letters. I was going to write something else today in regards to weight but I will repost what I wrote over there. In your free time, please go check out her blog.

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Selfie - Cheese!

I have really enjoyed this series and reading what Danielle's guests have written in regards to their journey through body image. I believe by sharing our stories, we encourage other women that they are not alone. Hopefully in sharing you see how unique and wonderfully made you are.

For me it all started with my buck teeth that I humbly inherited from one of my parents. As far as I know, I neither sucked my fingers and I couldn't stand having a pacifier in my mouth.

As I grew a bit older, I was called Bugs Bunny and bunny rabbit by some of my peers and sisters alike. When I was nine years old, my mother took me to get my pictures taken with Sears photography. The photographer kept telling me to close my mouth. I tried my hardest to but I couldn't. I remembered feeling pretty when I walked in but shamed even before that session was done. Even though that made an impression on me, that didn't stop me from smiling and making friends.

Even though I had friends, I still wondered what it would be like to have straight teeth to the point I took paper clips, unfolded them to try to make retainers and would put them in my mouth. I dreamed of having braces. Some of my friends who got braces complained on how ugly they made them feel and how they couldn't stand having "tracks" in their mouth. I would do anything to have "tracks" in my mouth.

That time did come and my grandmother blessed me by paying for the down payment for my braces! So four teeth pulled, spacers put in for awhile and molds made, I finally got my braces. And it was worth every bit of pain!

Within a matter of two years, I finally had straight teeth! Yay! But then puberty hit and friends started talking about their weight and looks. You know normal girl talk.

I went through what, I think a lot of young girls go through when they are teenagers, especially when it came to body image. But I don't think it really hit me until my middle twenties, when a friend's mother had asked do I eat. "Of course I eat", I replied.  She said I was looking on the skinny side. Well, I thought that was great! My sister, who was also my roommate at the time thought I was starving myself.

That time in my life, looking back, was about what I could control in my life when other things seemed out of control. And I could control what I ate. 

I can't say that I was by any means anorexic but I had lost enough weight to have my family concerned. I was even concerned when in between my periods I would spot, like as if I was about to start my period. My doctor said that he could prescribe me birth control so that my hormones could get back on track. But I knew what the problem was. I wasn't eating normally.

I restricted what I ate at times because I was getting noticed and it felt good to be noticed. 

But I had to come to a point where I was okay with who I am and live what I say I believe about what God says of me as His creation, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

As time went on, I put on some weight. Looking more healthy, though I felt I was getting fat. But I had to be comfortable in who I was. 

Thankfully, I married a man who loves me just the way I am. Sometime after we got married, I berated myself about my weight and he said something to the effect, "I will still love you if you gain weight". I laugh about it now, but I think I may have taken what he said a bit far.

But that's okay. I know what I need to do to be healthy through diet and exercise. The body I have is mine and won't look like the girl next to me or the girl I see on the magazine. And I'm learning that, it's okay!

To all of you ladies out there, know this: YOU are Beloved and Beautiful!

Thoughts run through it

My mind, that is!

I have so many dreams of what I want to do when it comes to blogging, vlogging, cooking and crafting. What I want to write about, what I want to talk about and what I want to make. Sometimes, I write those ideas down on post it notes!

And all this thinking happens when I am at work. Seriously?!

You see, the reality is, I am a dreamer. One of the guys I use to date (obviously, use to, duh!) told me to get my head out of the clouds, that I dream too much. He was  a "realist". Whatever that means. Um, maybe another term for that would be "pessimist"? I understand that a person can dream so much and not actually do anything. But then again, who knows, that same person can dream and do something.

I want to start here on this blog with a few changes and then go on from there. So much can happen between now and then but that's okay.

In the meantime, I'll continue to dream and write down my thoughts on post it notes.

Love,

Mrs. M

P.S. I want to thank the bloggers who have been especially encouraging to me through e-mails, who have taken the time out of their day to respond to readers like me, like we were friends. You ladies put a smile on my heart!

Out With the Old

And it is!!! Happy New Year y'all!

I hope that you enjoyed last night's festivities, whatever they were and stayed safe. We ended up going to two homes in one night. We hung out with our church family for the first part of the night. There was lots of food to be eaten, a billiard pool game to be played, a fire pit to be warmed up by (but I stayed inside), and encouraging and fun conversations to be had.

Then we went to our friends, Kaja and Matt's place for part two and had drinks, appetizers, good conversation, watch funny videos and rung in the New Year!

Today, the first day of the New Year, I get to relax. Yes! I've been waiting for this. As a matter of fact, I took off for the rest of the week from work. Ahh, wonderful!

This morning, I felt so energized to get up at 6 a.m. to take the dogs outside and after I did that, I decided to go back to bed because I could and I did! So we slept in. And it's been a leisurely morning/afternoon so far. No expectations.

So this is the time of year where people have already made their New Year's resolutions. The expectation is there, the motivation is there but then we all know what happens more than not, we break our resolutions. And then it happens more than once and we give up. I've decided not to make any and just take one day at a time.

What I would like to do is add juicing into my diet. So far this past week I've been doing it. So good, so far! It's amazing how my body feels when it has been kicked in the cells with all these good vitamins coming from fruit and vegetables. I feel like when I drink it, my body turns on, my brain is more clear. It's that potent! So we will see how that goes. I do feel good and not worn down. Not like the high and crash you get after eating sugar. I'm not ready to give up my Ghiradelli brownies though :)

Here's to a New Year and everything it will bring! Thank you Lord for a new start to a new year!

Mrs. M