Dear Diary,
It's been a loooong time that I have written in you but I know you sit by patiently waiting, waiting, waiting.
It's been a couple of interesting weeks. But most recently, my husband and I went to go see the fertility specialist. I really like her as a doctor. She seems very genuine, not trying to push us one way or the other. Maybe that's what we need because it seems like we are not on the same page of what treatment, if need be needs to be done.
Yes, we did get pregnant once but do you know how long that took?! I don't have that time to wait..at least I don't think I do. Statistics swirl around my head..over the age of 35...miscarriage... down syndrome and on and on it goes. Then I start to think "does my husband blame me for us not having children yet?", "why can't we adopt? I know he wants children of his own and he is willing to do this other procedure that I don't want to do" and all that jazz.
I'm frustrated because I'm not sure what to do. Yes, I do believe that God has a plan for us, there is no question about that. Yes, I do love my husband, no question about that either. It's just that when you have two imperfect people not seeing eye to eye or they see differently from each other it makes it hard.
I'll get back to you later.
~Mrs. M
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