Recent words of wisdom you heard that stuck with you...
Wow! There has been so much wisdom that I've been graced with from the time I was a child. Now did I always take heed to the wisdom put before me? No...and that's unfortunate and that's for another blog.
In the meantime, I'll share some recent words of wisdom that were spoken to me by my friend, Mark, who works with my organization who along with his wife, lost their son in an unexpected way.
Last year, while Mark and his wife were in Hawaii on a work trip of his for several months, his son was training to become an officer in the United States Air Force at Layola Marymount University. While on his run, he collapsed and died on September 23, 2011, just four days after Mark and his wife left for their trip.
Mark has since started a blog of his own at http://jonnscottflath.blogspot.com/ if you would like to read more about his memories of his son and his journey through grief.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talk to Mark since he was helping another gentleman put up some equipment in our office. I'm so glad that I stayed to talk. Sometimes when a friend or someone you know is going through grief, you don't know quite what to say or do. So from out of his experience, he spoke these words of wisdom:
When a person is grieving, don't expect them to call you to be with them, go be with them. Don't say, "If there is something that I can do for you, let me know." When you are in a state of grief, you really can't think that clearly and please don't expect me to remember which friend is available to call, if I need them now. If you are going to call them, don't do it for conversation sake, because that can be exhausting. If you do call them, do it to make sure that they are home and let them know that you are coming over. Sit with them. Let them tell their stories of their loved one, listen. If you feel after awhile (I mean after spending some time with them over time) that they are staying in their negativity, ask them about some of the happy times they spent with their loved one.
(Every person grieves differently. These are just some of the things I heard Mark say to me yesterday.)
Pray the grieving person, that always helps. Don't be so quick to say something that you think would be soothing or comforting to them. Sometimes those well intentioned words can hurt. And please don't say stupid things. He or his wife has had people say to them, "you should be over your grief now, stop crying, pack up his stuff, keep one thing and move on, you shouldn't feel this way still". Enough to want to punch someone in the face huh?
Several months have gone by and he has moments where he just breaks down. Understandable. But he has hope, he knows Jesus Christ and so did his son and they will see each other again. Until then he keeps on trusting God.
